That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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