it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
