She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
