it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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