You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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