suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
