I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
