never play flip cup with pint glasses
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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