Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
