It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
