I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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