She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Randomize