thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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