Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
