Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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