I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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