Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
