I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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