I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
