He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
