pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Welp...herpes.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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