apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
How drunk are you?
Completed.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
