I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
