bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
