I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you mean i was at the winter classic?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
