I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
