Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
