I just threw up on my dentist
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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