it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
