the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
