He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
