those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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