We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Randomize
