Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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