drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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