Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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