seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
whose parrot is this?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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