he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Randomize
