grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
