You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
