i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
