see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
