the new term for farting is butt boxing.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize
