Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
