At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
