yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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