we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
