Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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