Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Randomize
