Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I just had sex on a roof
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize