maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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