Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
