I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
