Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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