Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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