How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Is it because I queefed?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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