But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
