So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Randomize
