remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
