Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
