I hope mine doesn't look like that
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Randomize
