whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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