I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
