well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
