she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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