We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
